The sun was bright; the sky was without a dark cloud; and the roads were dry. It was the perfect day for a road trip. And, for driving fast. I knew I was not driving the speed limit (55mph) - all the cars, including mine, were speeding. But when I glanced at the speedometer I was surprised to see 80mph. I was so caught up with keeping up with the flow of traffic that I didn't realize I was driving that fast.

Later in the same week of my road trip, I started reading "Green with Envy - A Whole New Way to Look at Financial (Un)Happiness." In it, the author Shira Boss examines what I describe as the "bubble-thoughts" we tend to have about other people and their money, especially as it compares to the condition of our own personal finances. More specifically, she delves into what is really going on as people race to catch up and keep up with their peers financially. The common catchphrase for this behavioral tendency is "Keeping up with the Joneses," which happens to be the title of the third chapter in the book and it is where we meet Dan and Tammy.

The profile of Dan and Tammy (read excerpt), in particular, made me think about my drive down the Taconic Expressway. It brought to mind a curious question: is it really possible to get swept up in the momentum that before you know it you are doing what others around you are doing, asking questions and doing a self-check after the fact, if at all?

I found Dan and Tammy's story heart-wrenching. As I read it, I wondered how in the world could they not see the financial train wreck coming - how could they have gotten so caught up in keeping up that they didn't heed the warning signs that said "slow down" or simply "stop"?

Drawing a parallel between my lead-foot and money envy may seem a stretch. But, it is an analogy that uncovers a basic human need: no one wants to be left behind!

We have been dealing with the "left-behind" phenomenon since childhood (remember something called peer pressure?). The left-behind concept begs two questions, though: a) behind what? or b) behind whom? Plus, how do you measure your position when you cannot spot where the race begins or ends? Yet, this is exactly what we do in many areas of life, feeling best when we believe we are leading the pack. Interestingly, we are not always aware of the fact that we are trying not to be left behind; our actions to catch up and keep up only seem obvious from the vantage point of 20/20 hindsight. I proved this with my fast driving and Dan and Tammy proved it by managing themselves into bankruptcy.

It is not always easy to recognize or even acknowledge when the choices other people make are affecting the choices you make; likewise, it is not always blatant that you are comparing yourself to your peers. This is because influence is very, very powerful. It can be inspiring and it can also be perilous. Above all, influence is extremely subtle - it sneaks up on you and before you know it you find yourself doing what others around you are doing; you find yourself performing a side-by-side analysis (often with incomplete information) that typically leaves you in a position of feeling exactly what you don't want to feel --- left behind.

Eventually, I slowed down. Though admittedly still not to 55mph. But whenever I felt compelled to drive even faster, I thought of a friend's father who would always tell her: "Don't let anyone else drive your car." He was speaking figuratively, of course, as it was his way of reminding her not to let what other drivers are doing (or not doing) influence how she drove. This became my chant for the remainder of my drive that afternoon because I really had to work at not driving as fast as everyone around me.

In reality, none of us can escape being influenced by others, although we can each proactively manage how. And if we tweak Mr. Bracco's words, we have a template for doing this with regards to money: "don't let anyone else manage your money." Please don't take this literally. Instead, adopt it as a mantra to remind yourself not to try and catch up or keep up with your peers financially. When you look at what they are doing, what they have, etc., don't look with eyes of envy; what works for them may not fit your needs, circumstances and resources. Let your looking serve as a reference point for inspiration, feedback and clues for best-practices!

We are hosting two tele-seminars in November!

Tele-Seminar #1 - "Green With Envy"
An author interview and book discussion with Shira Boss

• Do you ever feel "left behind;" do you feel your peers earn more, save more, spend more or invest better than you?
• Have you ever made a financial decision just to give the appearance of being on equal footing of those in your social circle?
• Have you ever wanted to live someone else's life thinking it would relieve you of your financial pressure?

If so, then you won't want to miss this session where we will delve into the truly personal aspects of money!

Here are the details for the ""Green with Envy"" tele-seminar:

Date: Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Time: 8:00 - 9:00 p.m. To register, click here.

Purpose: To help you break free from the tendency and negative consequences of "Keeping up with the Joneses," and to help you put the personal back into personal finance!

Tele-Seminar #2 - "How to Minimize What You Render Unto Caesar"
with Allen Harvey, CPA, MST

The end of the year is fast approaching, but it's not too late to utilize some year-end tax strategies. Be better prepared for April 15, 2008 --- starting now!!!

Here are the details for the ""How to Minimize What You Render Unto Caesar"" tele-seminar:

Date: Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Time: 8:00 - 9:00 p.m. To register, click here.

Purpose: To help you save money and minimize your tax liability.

Modeled after the workshop of the same name, we offer the Stop Treating Your Money So Poorly Workbook (tm). It is a 48-page workbook, which consists of ten worksheets that will provoke you to think about money differently, inspire you to identify and examine your habits and help you make the choices that are right for you, at the right time and in the right way. The workbook is $24.95; the PDF downloadable version is $19.95; both can be purchased directly from Sterling's website. Virtual training support is also provided with your purchase.

Click here for a look inside the workbook.

For additional details, we invite you to click on the Financial Products link in the "Quick Links" section below or visit our website http://www.sterlingchoices.net.

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